Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone. :)

Whew! things are finally cooling down for me. Now that the seniors have graduated and I’ve made it through all of those tough birthdays and memorial anniversaries in the past month, I can feel the tension rolling away as each moment of this Memorial Day Weekend passes by…

So to jump back into the blogging world, I thought I’d be light n’ easy tonight. Here are the top five things I’ve missed in the past two months:

1. Writing on my schedule, on my time, by my rules. I’ve kept up the daybooking, but my fictive characters are crying for me to breathe a little life into them (even the dead ones). An early jump on writing tomorrow morning will help make up for lost time.

2. Writing to my friend d. She is such an inspiration to me and my muse, and I’ve done a horrible job of keeping a volley of missives alive.

3. Breathing. Yeah, I know. I’ve been breathing this whole time. But I mean intentional, meditative breathing. Again–I played the I’m-too-busy card, and that has made everything just a little harder. I should’ve known better…

4. Reading. I just started the first of seven books in Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, and I am already enjoying the peaceful escape a book gives me.

5. Blogging/being with fam/friends, writing letters, all of it.

Funny. These are the top five things I cherish as well….

Love the one you’re with, everyone…. :)

r.

Happy Birthday Mom. You would have turned 82 today, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of you or our many trips we had taken to Maine, Canada, Florida, and other wonderful places. In every adventure, we seized the day, didn’t we? We lived every minute to the fullest, savored the sunsets, revered the rainstorms, and cherished the winds that breathed a new life in us.You taught me the meaning of Carpe Diem, of patience, and of love. You gave me wondrous gifts that I shall give selflessly to my own children as you so selflessly gave to me.

But most importantly, Mom, you gave me strength to wait out the storms. Suns really do return, Rainbows really do happen, and new days are always just on the other side of the moon.

I talked to the kids today about you and shared stories. Braeden still wonders when you are going to wake up. All I keep telling him is that you are alive and well in his little heart, where you shall always remain with all of your children and grandchildren, helping us get through those moonlit nights to the brand new day that awaits.

I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday. :)

I thought this would be a tough week for me, but for this moment, I’m handling things ok.

Sunday, May 11: Mother’s day. This was the day in 2005 when Mom had to be resuscitated twice and then signed the DNR, all falling at the end of a week where we learned that cancer was everywhere inside of her.

Monday, May 12: Mom’s birthday. In 2005, on her 79th birthday, all she wanted to do was make it to 80. In 2007, when she turned 81, she whispered her final words.
Saturday, May 17:  Five days later in 2007, she died.

I have been dreading all of this, but now that I am here, I am calm, albeit a little reserved. But calm nonetheless.

Why? Perhaps it’s that I’m not close enough to my brothers to mourn her passing, where there’s strong emotion flowing freely between us. Or maybe because my sister, whom I am close with, lives in Florida, and we’re not close geographically. Or maybe it’s this. When Dad died, Mom mourned for many months, and it was so tough helping her through that. But there is no surviving spouse. She lived a wonderful life. I was with her just hours before she died. I had my chances–and I used them–to say goodbye. There’s no anger or frustration or guilt or any of that.

There is sadness. I miss her terribly every day.

But on this day, I have no worries about turning my attention to my wife and the celebrations with our own children. I do not see my sadness interfering at all with her wonderful day.

There was much of that last year. On my wife’s birthday on May 20, we spent the night at my mother’s viewing.

This, more than any other year, is my wife’s day for celebration with her children.

And maybe it’s this way because I know that’s the way Mom would want it anyway.

To all of you: my thoughts, my wishes, my love are with you on this day of celebration and remembrance for the sacrifices mothers have made–and continue to make–for their children.