to a mix of 127 JT songs…

I did not know Jenn See. She died at such a young age from an apparent heart aneurysm just a day or so after returning from Bonnaroo.

I learned of her death rather serendipitously following the links of one commenter, Carl V., who stopped by Janet’s site and left a comment the same day I made a visit.

The entire experience for me has been much like driving in reverse. Carl leaves a comment, I am intrigued that there really are other guy-bloggers out there. I go to his web site, scroll down through the posts, and find a eulogy written to a person I never knew.

But here’s the rub. He didn’t know her either. At least, not in the traditional sense. Carl V. knew her only in the online world, and his post on such virtual friendships sent me revisiting my own thoughts about online relationships and their unprecedented significance in our lives.

In his reaction to Jenn See’s death, Carl V. wrote:

I cannot begin to express my sadness. It is hard to describe what a relationship is when you do not meet someone in person but converse solely through the internet. Are they a friend, an acquaintance, what? There is an absence of completeness to a relationship in which you do not see the person face to face and yet there is a depth of relationship that is achieved when you share of yourself with others and have them do the same with you. . . .I don’t know what Jenn See was doing during her last hours on earth but it hurts to think of a book laying by the bedside table never to be finished. Poems not yet completed. Pictures on her camera that were meant to be posted. Treasure life people. And treasure your relationships with others in person and online. You never know how much you can touch people with what you say and do. That has come home so strongly today. Love those around you and live, really live, because no matter the years you have on this earth life is short..

Carl’s words hit home. For years I have struggled with this question of the depth of online relationships. Like he writes: …a friend, an acquaintance, what?

After reading his words, I felt as if I had known Jenn See myself, and so I had to read some of her own words and see her photography. I first went to to mysfit’s post that announced her passing. After reading the many comments left by friends, I went to Jenn See’s two main blogs, followingmyfish (which she kept with mysfit and oldben) and then to touristofeverything and scrolled down to the days just before and after she died. This was a first for me: A death in the online world, and oldben, mysfit, and Carl V., among countless others, shared their grief and celebrated her life with all of us, as if we were just in the next room, nursing a Jack and Coke to somehow stem the flow of the shock, the inevitable pain that was waiting to hit us all.

Like me, I am sure that it hit such outsiders in different, but personal, ways. One common feeling that has coursed through all of us, though, is this power of love that these people felt for her — not just those who knew her best in person or who took that last great trip to Bonnaroo with her, but to those who knew Jenn See through the power of her words, her photography, even her selflessness in sending CDs filled with music to make others feel better.

Jenn See’s death and the celebration of her life by the myriad people in this world who never held her hand or kissed her cheek confirms for me that we must all recognize the transcending power of love. Establishing friendships and relationships on line is not a superficial and recreational activity that can be compared beat for beat with the more traditional aspects of love we are used to. For thousands of years, it was all we knew, though, right? With the exception of the rare correspondence through letters between two once-strangers, most people know of each other intimately through physical meetings only — at least in the beginning stages of that friendship or romance. It was from that foundation that we kept our emotions grounded and called to them when our loved ones could not be around us. The adage that distance makes the heart grow fonder has always been based on the premise that, in the beginning, there was a physical closeness to establish that relationship.

This is no longer the case.

Love has evolved. It has freed itself from such a physical foundation that once needed to be built, and we are faced with understanding, embracing, and appreciating such love and opening ourselves fully to all it may mean to you, to me, to the world.

We keep looking for ways to bring a greater sense of peace and love throughout this world. Maybe the greatest power of them all — love — has risen to the occasion once again and is leading the way to better times.

I did not know Jenn See, and I do not know Carl V., oldben, or mysfit. But I do know this:

We have much to be thankful for in their shared experience of love for a beautiful and gifted young woman who passed from this Earth much too early.

And in her passing, may we all understand a little more that love knows no barriers, and to open ourselves up to it in ways that were once unimaginable is the greatest gift we can give to the generations of lovers and peace-seekers yet to be born.

Over the past few days I’ve been refining some of the components to my blog; I hope you find them helpful.

The biggest addition is the publication and contest opportunity link that opens up a calendar of calls for submissions and contests where writers might be interested in submitting their work. You can find this link under a new column in my sidebar titled, “rusvw in-depth.”

I have also added a subscription service to my blog, so you can receive email alerts every time I post a new entry. Although this service will undoubtedly increase the flow of spam to my site, I think it’s worth it to offer this convenience to readers and writers who are too busy to click on myriad blogs, only to find there are no new updates. As much as I try to write every day, I know this is simply not a promise I can keep.

If you know of any publication opportunities or contests that you would like me to add to the calendar, please let me know.

Thanks, faithful readers!

Thanks to Janet for showing me the way to this…(and evidently, I mean that sincerely). :)

You’re Not Sarcastic At all

Sarcasm isn’t for you, and you really don’t appreciate it when people get their snark on. You still have a great sense of humor. You just prefer a silly joke to a sarcastic one. You sometimes have trouble knowing when people are mocking you. But you do know you don’t like it!

MP tossed a seed into a mug one day, said a little wish, and hoped to witness the birth of a flower. Yesterday, her seed matured and a beautiful sunflower introduced herself to the world.

MP believes. She has faith in a seed, and now a whole lot more.

The Writer’s War Within: Exploring the Creative Battleground When Watcher and the Muse Fight for Your Time

(for the story behind this vomit draft, see the previous post: 15 on the Fives, no. 7)

This is raw, folks. But it’s a draft of something, nonetheless. We’ll see where it goes.

(Already the watcher looks over my shoulder as I write this piece. I am fighting him just to write a piece about fighting him…Would this be called meta-writing, then? Or meta-battling?)

One of my favorite books is called the Tao of Health, which focuses on establishing balance in all aspects of your life. In the first chapter on diet and nutrition and understanding food combinations, Daniel Reid states that most people don’t need to worry too much about how their bodies metabolize the foods they eat. As with everything else, there are extremeson the continuum. Some people metablolize food quickly (I hate you all) and some people metabolize at the speed of sludge in a still pond. Those of us who are slow metabolizers must work very hard just to sustain our weight, let alone lose a pound or two.

A writer’s metabolism — the way we use our energy to produce good writing that makes a difference — falls on a similar continuum. Most people fall in the middle (although this “center” of the continuum is much closer to the Censor than it is to the Muse), where they manage their writing and their internal battle with their Censor on an as-needed basis. This “Center” fills only 33% of the continuum, and the remaining 66% is filled by the energy of the Muse (see pic below).

Unfortunately, few of us journey deeply to the right, and the metabolic energy to create is often untapped because of the energy it takes to break free of the Censor.

Somewhere, early on in your childhood, your Censor was given the negativity it needed to be born. Maybe it was a bad comment on a paper you wrote, or the lack of recognition from a parent. At some time, somewhere, from someone, your Censor was given the chance to grow. And like a cancer, it continuted to grow and spread dangerously through you. The symptoms were clear: low self-esteem, procrastination, avoidance, etc. And, as time passed, the Censor settled in and became a permanent resident. It was content, even happy, to be in such an environment where, with a simple comment or two, it thrived on all you did — or didn’t do.

Being aware of the grasp the Censor can have on us is half the battle. Recognize that the Censor has only one goal: To stop you from succeeding in establishing a strong, healthy relationship with your muse. It should be passionate, intimate, risky, beautiful…

Once you make up your mind that you refuse to give your Censor the satisfaction of stopping you, there’s no telling how far you can go in all that you wish to accomplish.